The Pissed as A Fart Thread

hystericali · The Pissed as A Fart Thread

I was going to start this a while ago for our drunken ramblings but decided not to (bottled out, lol) so now I'm sober I thought I'd create a thread for our less sober moments.

I was going to tell you all about drunken yo-yoing (its the FUTURE I tell you) and the plasticine Frank Iero I made and when I was looking in my sent messages discovered I'd sent a picture message to Helen.

And then there was how it took me 10 minutes to walk 200 metres home.

what else can we put in this thread?

(of course I should be responsible and point out the dangers of binge drinking and alcohol in general, so here is the responsible part of the post)

tasheh

Hee hee I haven't had a decent drunken night out in a while. I hope towards the end of the term we can all go out.

So what.. is this the abuse thread for when we are drunk or just to share our drunken moments from the past?

hystericali

it can be for both, Tash

I was going to post here a couple of Saturday nights ago but I'd have to have logged in on the Sunday morning and done some editing!

Druken typing is always good for a giggle.

wildflower

and what if youre tee total? can you still come in for a giggle?

ashentara

Hummmm, I'm probably gonna be a big contributor to this thread lol

::: raises beer :::: cheers!

I used to send mails to Chad whenever I was drunk because we both enjoyed my drunken ramblings lol it was always funny. Then we'd spend hours the following day on MSN trying to decipher what I'd meant, etc. Sweet memories;

tasheh

Well they say everyone has a different accent when you're drunk I tend to copy my nothern friends :lol:

I know I've done a few drunken ramblings on uno before i'll try to remember to come on here next time

hystericali

Carroll can be mummy of this thread and look after us!

Northern-Star

Well I just went out with Stephen to the pub, kafibarinn(co owned by Damon Albarn lol) and we had 3vodkas and burn(like red bull) that cost us....£11.50 per round, so £34.50 for the evening!! and then we got some bottles of beer to take home, as the offo doesn't open on Sunday! lame!!! that cost us 550kr per beer and we got 10 so £42 !!!! hahahahahha thats so much money!!! for a small evening out

When we were buying them the girl said, "but its only Sunday!" lol It's still kinda frowned upon to get wasted any night other than fri and sat and they get wasted!!!!!!

I'll be back :twisted:

wildflower

hehe sounds like this thread is gonna do well

sarahbelle

tee hee...loving this thread and am sure will be posting in here once in a while...

think I have already managed to spread my tiddly ramblings around the forum :oops:

must add that until I started uni I very rarely drank alcohol...think Im just living up to the whole student lifestyle :lol:

and of course I employ maladaptive coping strategies to deal with the stress of it...

Helen

Ali you plasticine Frankie text was awesome! made my night it did (whilst also pleasantly drunky)

wildflower

yeah yeah, you keep telling yourself that Sarah

tasheh

teheheheheh i've just had a mixture of wine and red bull that can't be good can it? :?

Oh well.. meh heh I feel like dancing outside :lol:

hystericali

a large amount of cider does not mix well with quiche in the tummy :smt009

hystericali

maybe tonight, I'm off to my buddies house again

Northern-Star

heheh Ill meet ya here then lol We have a friend coming round for some guitar hero fun lol :smt035 :hippy2: :occasion7:

hystericali

we're going to be drowning our sorrows as we entered the competition on Kerrang TV to see MCR and meet them at Download yesterday.... we didn't win so we're going to get rid of the kids for the evening with their dads and drink wine and watch Life on The Murder Scene instead!

Northern-Star

sounds like a great way to commiserate

I was supposed to knit loads today, but I dunno, I think I may try and get my guitar skills ready for tonights battle lol

hystericali

it is, I'm going in about 10 minutes! She has 3 bottles of wine....... and her daughter has a pogo stick...... I sense impending drunken disasters ahead lachtot.gif

happy guitaring!

Northern-Star

lol I always wanted a pogo stick, but my mam and my friends mam ganged up and said they were too dangerous, so instead we got cheap ass roller blades, which had no ankle support so were just as dangerous as pogo sticks...I swear one of these days Ill get that bloody pogo stick grrr

hystericali

oh dear, its slow typng.....

erm, too much red wine, curse that 3 for a tenner offer at th co-op

we discussed funeral songs, Jue wants Going underground by the Jam.

same thing two wekks tonight, must go, pepperoni pizza in the oven

Northern-Star

lol I am just awake and thought I had dreamed sending an email to russell brand show...nooooo I sent oen!!! lol funnily enough its not bad! I do rememeber feeling like I was 10feet away from the keys though, it was that hard to tyepe lol

ooooooohhhhhh hangover time lol

hystericali

it took me how long to find this thread?

anywhoo, 'me Julie' has just been round for a bottle of the old vino rouge and we had peanuts, somehow she managed to drop a handful of peanuts down her cleavage. If she's hun gry later just ask me for the ones that are left in the bag......

Pringles and mayo are top food.

And yes, I have blown the candles out :smt045

Northern-Star

hehe nuts down her jugs lol

I have eaten way too many icelandic crisps, I feel sick!! I shouldn't even be partying! We are up early for the day trip tomoz arghhh up early on a sunday ughhh

hystericali

there were plenty of innuendoes flying around about nuts and boobs etc.

I'm sober now, I came too quite quickly when I checked order tracker on ticketmaster for some gig tickets and I put them on my OH's switch card by mistake

eeeeek.

Northern-Star

oooops!

lol though I first read your sentence as "I came too quickly"! :lol:

hystericali

wildflower

hahah yeah i agree with Karen, i had to read that twice too!! i love reading this thread!

Haytch

This is brilliant, you can have a thread especially for me haha.

I remember a time when my friend from Bridgend came up and we went to see the new Star wars film at the cinema. We came home and drank a huge bottle of whiskey between us. I was so drunk, he found me wandering about the street in my blue and white pj's looking for my friend Gavin in a bush. To this day, I don't understand the logic.

Or the time I went to visit my friend in Manchester. It was the first time I had ever stayed there and we'd gone on a night out. I remember getting back to her house and deciding that I needed the toilet. Off I toddle in my drunken way and actually decide that i am really tired and the bathroom floor was the perfect place to sleep.

My friend and her then fella come upstairs to investigate and find me sprawled on their bathroom floor. They couldn't wake me so decided that they had to carry me... this resulted my top falling down and revealing all that i had. They eventually get me to bed and I am still fast asleep. Queue to me 9am the next morning, thinking it was an hour kater and wondering what the hell had happened to my cheeseburger!

I am not allowed to live that one down.
I don't think I'll embarrass myself anymore!

wildflower

Hoooray, someone else who does weird and wonderful things under the influence! this thread will grow and grow

hystericali

I remember sleeping on the bathroom floor once, me and the OH had a disagreement over an engagement ring, he wanted to choose it, but I didn't like the ones he'd picked out, and we had a barney, I necked a serious amount of Malibu and felt poorly and slept on the bathroom floor with a hand towel to keep me warm! I felt poorly and it was the most logical place to kip!

I never did get the ring, our daughter was conceived and we used the money he'd saved for the ring to buy baby stuff and buy a carpet for the landing!!!

Enjoy the thread! I'm posting in it with scary regularity!

Haytch

The bathroom seems like a popular place to sleep during not so sober moments.

Northern-Star

I never remember my drunken antics, I'll have to ask Stephen.

I cry a lot when Im drunk, but not normal crying, the tears wont stoP!! It's so crazy, they just pour like a waterfall from my eyes, anything can set me off. God I have some embarassing stories

Haytch

Northern-Star

I think generally I just make a fool of myself. Had a party a few weeks back and my girl friend was into this guy and my boyf told me I made them come back to our place for a party,(the guy she liked and his mate) but my boyf and his guy friend didn't want them there I was too wasted lol so I ended up having to tell them to leave when we got to my flat lol My girl mate just wanted to go back to his and get jiggy lol
I don't even remember lol
I sometimes rather not remembering, as I hate myself then lol rather not knowing please!

I have a funny video of me, I have to seriously edit and I'll post a link lol I get very depressed on my birthday so its from that day last year! haha

wildflower

*looks very much forward to seeing that*

Northern-Star

ok, so here I am in all my diva glory lol Stephen is our ever present cameraman and Im the whiny blackhaired one and Sj is the other red headed lass(she is from South Africa)

*hides from laughter*

http://s14.photobucket.com/albums...mp;current=karenthecomplainer.flv

wildflower

hahah excellent!! karen you look so young!!!! and i dunno why, but i didnt expect the irish accent, even though i know youre irish hehe! we need more clips like that!

hystericali

Karen, you make me smile so much!

I luffs ya

Northern-Star

lol there are way more like that lol it's weird thinking bout my accent, coz I haven't lived in Ireland for over 4years! Sometimes I think I sound american lol I watch so much tv, but as we spend most of our time alone we keep our accents.

wildflower

hehe thats a good point, its a wonder we all dont speak with american accents, the amount of american shows that are on tv :-)

Northern-Star

I know! over here when people speak english most of them speak it with an american accent! well there was this goth girl in the metal bar that spoke with a funky cockney accent lol that was funny

hystericali

I had a drink on an empty tummy, fell asleep about 8, just woken up and have a massive headache.

My car died today and its been abandoned on a street on the other side of town til tomorrow when I can be arsed. Damn thing knew it was going to be priced up for a part exchange, it gave up 500 feet from the garage where the sexy Mazda 3 thats replacing it is...........

I'm off to bed now to get rid of this bloody headache.

edit - this is what i'm getting http://www.mazda.co.uk/Showroom/M...a3-5Door%2f&NRCACHEHINT=Guest

Northern-Star

nice car Ali

I want more drink

just finished a bottle of red, but we are working tomorrow

poo

hystericali

nice price too, Karen! There's a serious amount of dosh leaving the old bank account today, its a 3 year old car, but it will take another 5 years years to get the money together for its replacement so I'll be getting value for money! There's the sports version of it in the garage too, but the engine is a bit powerful, but I must admit the sporty version has brought out a girl racer side in me that I never knew existed! A car has always been something to get me from A to B, but this baby makes me feels the need for speed (within current speed limits of course)

hystericali

I got the sport version

the OH did a marvellous job haggling!

wildflower

wheee good for you

hystericali

Northern-Star

hehe Go Speed Racer Go! Happy driving Ali

hystericali

as I said after the trst drive ''its like shit off a shovel''

hystericali

not posted in here for ages..... not pissed though :roll:

Will be on the 17th though, girlie night out with the peeps I work with at school! Its going to be a blast!

Northern-Star

3 day weekend for me, so I think I may be in here a lot hehe when I'm not knitting and reading of course! :roll:

wildflower

yeah, come on karen, havent seen any funny pissed entries from you for ages! roll on the weekend

photos and videos much appreciated

Northern-Star

lol Well it is the Merchants weekend over here, which is the drunkenest weekend of the year, there are festivals all over the country and even one in the city called innipukinn which basically means those who stay in, lol I am an innipukinn this weekend, but I don't think I can afford to go to any gigs

Will try to take some drunken pics for you Carroll

wildflower

hoooray we need more videos and piccie! have a great weekend sweetie

hystericali

i told them i didnt want to drink...........

rhubarb? wtf? anywhoo, nighty nighty

wildflower

hope youre not too hung over to drive to my house today Ali

hystericali

no I'm not, lol, driven there and home!

I got to the bottom of rhubarb, I didnt know the karaoke songs and apparently if you are singing in a choir and forget the words just keep saying 'rhubarb' in time to the music and it looks like you're singing along....

I'm out again in a bit, see how the evening goes.....

wildflower

you never seem to stop Ali!

glad you got home safely sweetie x

hystericali

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :cool:

that is all

Ninja-Boy

i totally agree with that statement ali

hystericali

hangover + 28 enthusiastic Y4 kids = :smt085

Ham of the Problematique

Oooh poor Ali!

hystericali

add an art class to the equation and the kids that decided to paint themselves

Ninja-Boy

awwwwwwww ali

mst1990

this is the thgered for me the moment good i'v had to mmuc hto drin k :/

hystericali

I make the odd contribution in here myself

Ninja-Boy

wooo! no hangover from yesterday! *dances*

jensmuse

lol it's because you weren't drunk.....well according to you you weren't

Ninja-Boy

i was ever so slightly tipsy

tbh, if you mix drinks like i did, you should have a hangover

jensmuse

lol true

hystericali

I can tell if I'm drunk as my nose goes numb.

Northern-Star

I talk a lot when I'm drunk and get very unshy

Museclues

today im pissed as a fart becaus ei have class tomarra...darn....well thats life. THATS THAT!

hystericali

JAGERMEISTER and plenty of it my chums

Northern-Star

ooooh We love that, although the last time we had that I am sure I puked! haha
We have red wine tonight, in a box! classy huh?!

hystericali

I'm trying not to puke, but its vry hard whn I'v just eatn a peanut buttr sarni and drunk a can of ppsi max.

Scuse me, I know I'm a tad pissed by where hav my e's gone?

Seriously, i hav intrmittent e's, no typos made.

Northern-Star

*alert alert* someone has stolen Ali's E key!!
If you see an e key wandering aimlessly please tell it to go back home

hystericali

you can call of the search party!

I'd had a bread roll with sesame seeds on it last night and one of the little blighters is currently wedged under the e key. I've shaken the lap top, poked round with a paper clip but its going

at me. I can see it, but cannot get to it.

Perseverence is the key here

I've been up since 7.15 and feel wonderful considering the amount of the old Jagermeister that was consumed last night. I seem to remember a pitcher of champagne cocktail stuff with strawberries in it too. Went to a chinese restaurant and I ended up with mushroom curry!

I'm dreading the pictures that I suspect will end up on someones facebook

wildflower

haha you two crack me up, glad you had a good night Ali

Helen

*keeps her eyes peeled on Nete's Facebook!!!!!!!*

Northern-Star

Glad your not hungover and that you found the e

I am fine too, was way too tired to keep drinking all night!

Which is good, because we got up early and it looks great out

hystericali

I'm slacking now..... could do with a kip

I'm going to go on facebook in a mo and see if there is anything on there, but I went before her so I suspect she partook of more alcomohol than me.

She took a lot more pictures of me, mine are really random crowd shots of people

StarlightInTheGloom

Haven't actually been pissed for a while :S

Last time i was i (apparently) threw a pork pie at my mates face...

and i fell asleep on the stairs...not the best nights sleep i've had...wouldn't recommend it

ashentara

hah ah pissed stories are the best lol

I tend to text and drunk dial people when I'm pissed. It's like.. stuff I wanted to say but wouldn't dare in a sober state, well I say them all when I'm drunk lol

makes for some interesting "morning afters".

last night it allowed me to send a kickass email to an ex-friend of mine who's apparently decided to ruin my life. I wasn't sure what to do.. but with the help of three glasses of wine, I knew lol. She got angry ah ah. Bitch.
Not only did she just zip me as a friend because last september (when I was "celebrating" the anniversary of Chad's death and being dumped by my bf) I was no fun and too much of a bore apparently.. yeah, so not only did she just erase me from her life for a really stupid motive.. now that she knows I'm getting back with my ex, she's trying to ruin that too. She sent a venomous mail to all my friends saying stuff like "you really shoudl be careful around Manu, she's not very stable, she doesn't have all her head", etc. Yeah I'm crazy but I love my friends. Dammit, she'll pay for that. If not in this life, in the next. Grrrr.

StarlightInTheGloom

aww, just get drunk and send her another nasty email...Or just punch her

Yeah, i text weird things when i'm drunk...I go round my mates the day after and they tell me i've sent them weird texts...Like this one guy i used to really like, when i was pissed i sent him a text declaring my undying love for him....how embarrasing!

Fortunately i didn't have to see him for a week after when i sent him the text...but it was still quite awkward afterwards lol

Museclues

that was so mean of her..[whoever she is...]

dont let anybody hurt you..if anyone says something mean to you, tell them:"my friend paige owns a brickstore!"
even though i dont.

and they should run..cause i will smack em! over the head with a brick..

kidding.

uppies daisies! ok, there goes my rage again.only cause, my dad wont take me to get a new drum head for my bass drum.i broke it four times through and around the rim and yet he still wont let me buy a new one!ugh!he wont take me today!darn!and i cant go pt the mall like i planned with patricia..[from patricia says]

StarlightInTheGloom

I think i broke one of the volume dial things on my guitar...i turned it too much and then i heard a cracking noise...eek :S

What songs can you play on your drums paige?

Museclues

well its mostly muse, i can everything, except things that require percussion stuff like megalomania and screenager...a few b sides here ans there..everything on absolution but ruled by secrecy and falling away with you.

oh! i cant play hoodoo or take a bow,but i can play assasin!

*proud moment*

i dont anything on showbiz but uno and sunburn.

uhm, teengers by mcr, one or two avenged sevenfold songs, duality by slipknot..and a few more but i forgot..wahtever is on my ipod i know i can play. *struggles for muse tabs*

waht can you play on guitar Hannah?

StarlightInTheGloom

Urm...I can play the riff in Sweet Child O' Mine, The beginning to Seven Nation Army, I'm learning the beginning to Plug in Baby and The solo in Hysteria..
I can play Nickelback - Rockstar and Photograph, Greenday - Good Riddance (Time of your life) and Boulevard of Broken Dreams...

And just a few bits here and there in some songs..

I'm also gonna try and learn how to play cave

I'm a bit crap at the moment, haven't really had a chance to play it for a while, Exam stress :S

I found out Argos sells Gibson Guitars! How cool is that?!?!

Well done on assasin! I love that song sooo much! I'm gonna learn that by the end of the holiday (hopefully

)

Museclues

ok my math final is post pones ti this morning in two hour.

i got a 79% on the social studies final but i get a retake..im stressed.more to come but i have to go to school.

StarlightInTheGloom

Aww i know how you feel Paige, I've got 7 exams thursday! (mainly science, and 1 english) I just want it all to be over!

Museclues

and also today, i cant get the online working right on my ps3, and to make matter worse, i accidently broke my headband in half..IT WAS MY FAVORITE ONE!!

but i have no homework so im not as stressed anymore!!

StarlightInTheGloom

aww sucky!

There we go, that makes everything better =D

mr_x

Friday night, parents have gone away for the weekend, home alone, beer in the house, 3 bottles of Becks down and I'm still not drunk... I'm usually a complete lightweight, but tonight is proving to be tricky!

Ninja-Boy

you should see my mate el! one wine gum and hes anybodys!

hystericali

Museclues

i dont remmebr[cause i wasnt born yet!] but the 80s were the days of mousse! [did i spell it right?!]

Ive seen pictures!

StarlightInTheGloom

95p for a pint?!?!

Bloody hell! Inflation or what?!?!

I dont really like that many alcopops....they taste funny...cherry lambrini for me, the drink of sophistication

mr_x

unmhmhmmm hmmm... I think i gott he right thread... my dad tookme to ehethe pub and got me drunk