Cydonia

ashentara · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:41 pm Post subject:

wEll I invited him over for dinner and made my very famouse lasagna, and we spent so much time talking and gushing about stuff like "oh my god, you too !!!!" that it didn't leave time for anything else.
Pff.

Need a different strategy lol
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Ham of the Problematique · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:03 am Post subject:

Ahh that's frustrating, but promising at the same time! I hope all that goes well. Are you going to see him again soon?

I'm trying to work up the courage to ask someone out for a coffee at the moment, having broken up with Jake a few weeks ago. I went to a lecture from my friend's course today to 'accidentally' bump into him

I swear I *will* ask him out eventually, it's just finding a way of phrasing it... any thoughts?
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ashentara · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:11 am Post subject:

not right now, but I'm totally sleep-deprived so my brain is gone too. I will think about it and come back to you though.

accidentally bumping into him lol I'm sure when I'm in a retirement home I'll still be using that technique. Girly, but efficient!!!!
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Ham of the Problematique · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:43 pm Post subject:

Hehe, yep. I'll probably see him next on Tuesday (unless I do actually accidentally bump into him before then

) so get your thinking caps on, people! I need help!!
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SuperGinge · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:48 pm Post subject:

Just be honest with him, and ask him if he wants to go for a coffee sometime.

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Ham of the Problematique · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:58 pm Post subject:

Ahhhhh I bumped into him today, unprepared!

Now this is maddening:

I saw him go into a cafe on campus so I decided to go in and get a pot of tea. I then went and sat down on the table opposite him (he was outside sat alone writing poetry) and there was no one between us. So quite soon after I sat down, he looked up at me and I looked back at him and smiled, then he started talking to me - GOOD SIGN.

He remembered me from yesterday and we got talking for ages about things, and after a few minutes he asked me to come and sit with him at his table. I did, and we carried on talking. It turns out he is a published poet (I'm melting with deliciousness already, him being so attractive and a POET) and we talked about everything that I seem to like, except Muse. It was the perfect accidental date. He loves art and literature and is very quiet and keeps to himself a lot, which is very similar to me. He even went as far as to say that it was really nice to meet someone that he liked, rather than the people you usually meet and can't stand for more than five minutes.

Anyway, the similarities just kept mounting and then we had to go and get the bus (both going to the same place) and kept flirting more and more. At one point, he accidentally said (no word of a lie) "So what gets you off? I mean... um... where are you getting off?", and his body language was SO flirtatious. Anyway, he said that he would see me on Tuesday and maybe take me to a new art gallery in town.

Then the killer: he casually dropped into conversation "I live in a flat opposite Duke's with my girlfriend".

Is the whole flirtation seriously in my head?! HE INITIATED IT!!!

More importantly, should I persist or should I leave it? It has been a long time since I've had chemistry like this with someone - since Charles. And I don't want to get into the whole business of being the other woman because I've done that and it ended SO BADLY.

HELP!
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ashentara · Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 12:43 am Post subject:

ouch I really didn't expect that shoe to drop when I read your story!! It seemed so perfect!

wait till Tuesday, see how he behaves, and if he's still flirty and all.. if you can muster the courage juste ask him why he's being like that when he has a gf (which can lead to the "yes but I'm not happy with her" talk or to an outraged "what makes you think I was flirting", either way)... then you'll know.

Or wait till he actually initiates a move you know, hug or kiss or something, and ask "aren't you forgetting something" or something along those lines. IF he knows straight away what you mean that probably means that he is very aware he has a girlfriend and is about to cheat. If he honestly seems not to know what you mean.. then even though he has a gf, they're really not close, and the relationship with her is already over in his head.

Know what I mean? (I can be very confusing, especially this late at night)
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TreeHeart · Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 5:09 pm Post subject:

Doh! he has a gf! sucky!

But, that doesn't have to be the end of it. Stephen and I were both with other people when we first met and flirted outrageously for a long time before anything happened. You should just be more persistent than me and tell him if he is interested to drop the other woman.

Best of luck though, it does sound like you were getting on great.

Ham of the Problematique · Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 2:20 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the help guys, it is appreciated. I saw him *again* yesterday, because I went into town to buy 1984 (haha, that's my post count

) anyway, yes so I went into town to buy that because I realised I had lost my copy. Took it up to the counter in Waterstone's and he started talking to me, which made me jump out of my skin because I hadn't noticed that it was him behind the counter. Anyway, he was just as flirty again and we chatted for a while before I left the shop.

I think that the two of you are right - I should be honest about my feelings about the whole girlfriend thing if things develop into a kissing situation or similar. That way lies no good. I seriously can't emphasise enough how much I seem to like him though, it's crazy. I didn't think I could like anyone this much any more.
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mr_x · Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:19 am Post subject:

The only bit of advice I can give here is that I've been in the same situation, my first girlfriend happened in a similar way and the only thing I can say is that it may end up badly.

It did for me, basicly she did exactly the same to me as she did to her ex before me before she got with me (if that makes sense!). The way I see it, if they do it once to get with you, what's to say they won't do it again?

However everybody is different, maybe he has his reasons, maybe he's sensing the end of his current relationship and is already out and about scouting the area so to speak, which in my eyes is still a little dodgy.

Maybe he's a stalker? Keeps popping up in all these places.

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Ham of the Problematique · Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:07 pm Post subject:

Yes, I can see your point and have considered it already, it is a worry. However, I think I will still try to pursue things and see how things go. If I didn't think I could be attracted to anyone this way again, I don't see what I really have to lose.

I just hope things don't go badly... Wish me luck, I'm seeing him tomorrow and he's taking me to an art gallery in the evening

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mr_x · Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:27 pm Post subject: